Comedy Central: 10 Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches
Prepare yourself for a wild ride of laughter and hilarity as we dive into the world of Comedy Central and explore the top 10 jokes that are guaranteed to leave you rolling on the floor, clutching your stomach, and begging for mercy.
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Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! Well, technically speaking, they do make up, well, everything. But hey, who needs trust when you have a good punchline?
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I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!" Classic librarian humor, always keeping us on our toes. You never know when a book might just sneak up on you.
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I was in a band called The Backseats. We were never quite famous, but boy, did we have a lot of fans! They were all just seated behind us, though, so they never actually saw us perform.
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My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up, man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well, but I can't help but think, "Well, that's just shallow advice."
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Last night, I dreamed I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted! Being a muffler is tough work, folks. All that noise and hot air can really take a toll on you.
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I wanted to lose weight, so I went to the paint store. The guy there asked me, "Are you looking for something particular?" I said, "Yeah, I'm looking to drop a few pounds." He handed me a bucket of white paint. Thanks, buddy, but I think I'll stick to the gym.
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I went to the doctor's office the other day and told him, "Doctor, I keep hearing voices in my head." He replied, "Don't worry, it's just your conscience." I said, "Well, that's a relief. I thought it was my pet parrot practicing ventriloquism."
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I'm terrible at math, so my teacher told me to practice counting sheep at night. I tried, but every time I got to three, they all jumped over a fence and ran away.
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My wife asked me if I think she's becoming too obsessed with astrology. I replied, "To be honest, babe, I can't foresee that happening." Sometimes, you just need to throw in a pun and hope for the best.
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Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts! I guess skeletons are more about the funny bone than the actual fighting bone.
There you have it, folks! The top 10 jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone, courtesy of Comedy Central. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, even if it does leave you in stitches from time to time. So, sit back, enjoy, and be prepared to laugh until your sides ache.
Fatuma (Guest) on September 18, 2024
How do trees access the internet? They log in! ๐ฒ๐ป
Mgeni (Guest) on September 11, 2024
Why do chickens sit on eggs? Because they donโt have chairs! ๐๐ฅ
Husna (Guest) on September 3, 2024
I don't need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ
Stephen Amollo (Guest) on August 30, 2024
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! ๐๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
Tabitha Okumu (Guest) on August 25, 2024
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life. ๐๐
Mwanahawa (Guest) on August 24, 2024
I cleaned my house yesterday, which is odd because we still live in it today. ๐ก๐งผ
Charles Mchome (Guest) on August 23, 2024
Sorry, I canโt come to the phone right now. Iโm busy being fabulous. ๐๐
Alice Mwikali (Guest) on August 6, 2024
Iโm on a 24-hour coffee break. โโณ
Amina (Guest) on July 9, 2024
๐ I can't stop laughing at this one!
Dorothy Mwakalindile (Guest) on July 5, 2024
๐ Pure comedy gold!
Athumani (Guest) on July 5, 2024
They say 'donโt try this at home,' so Iโm coming over to your house to try it. ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ก
John Lissu (Guest) on July 2, 2024
The only thing better than talking about food is eating it. ๐๐ด
Mwanais (Guest) on June 22, 2024
I canโt adult today. Please donโt make me adult. ๐๐ฌ
Lydia Mutheu (Guest) on June 7, 2024
Iโm multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time. ๐ง๐ค
Ali (Guest) on May 28, 2024
๐ Iโm sending this to everyone I know!
Carol Nyakio (Guest) on May 25, 2024
This joke is going straight to my favorites! ๐
Lucy Mahiga (Guest) on May 25, 2024
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta! ๐๐คก
Fadhila (Guest) on May 21, 2024
Why was the math book always confused? It couldnโt figure anything out! ๐๐คทโโ๏ธ
Lucy Mahiga (Guest) on May 20, 2024
Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said. ๐๐ฌ
Faiza (Guest) on May 14, 2024
Whatโs a witchโs favorite subject in school? Spelling! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐
Sumaya (Guest) on May 11, 2024
If at first, you donโt succeed, then skydiving definitely isnโt for you. ๐ชโ
Aziza (Guest) on April 26, 2024
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! ๐ ๐
Edward Chepkoech (Guest) on April 20, 2024
Sometimes I drink waterโjust to surprise my liver. ๐ฅค๐
Ndoto (Guest) on April 19, 2024
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns donโt work! ๐๐
Hashim (Guest) on April 18, 2024
Donโt you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do. ๐ค
Hawa (Guest) on April 7, 2024
You can't make everyone happy. You are not a taco. ๐ฎ๐คทโโ๏ธ
Mary Kidata (Guest) on March 9, 2024
I love you more than coffee, but please donโt make me prove it. โโค๏ธ
Violet Mumo (Guest) on March 8, 2024
How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper! ๐๐ฐ
Kijakazi (Guest) on February 19, 2024
Itโs not that Iโm lazy, Iโm just highly motivated to do nothing. ๐๏ธ๐
Abdullah (Guest) on February 19, 2024
๐ Iโm still laughing, canโt stop!
Sharon Kibiru (Guest) on February 14, 2024
If Monday had a face, Iโd punch it. ๐ฅ๐
Irene Makena (Guest) on February 6, 2024
What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad sandals! ๐ธ๐ก
Ndoto (Guest) on February 2, 2024
My dream job would be the karma delivery person. ๐๐
Mustafa (Guest) on February 1, 2024
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. ๐๐ฆท
Betty Cheruiyot (Guest) on January 31, 2024
๐ This one really got me!
Furaha (Guest) on January 28, 2024
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose! ๐๐ฆถ
Violet Mumo (Guest) on January 25, 2024
Iโve learned so much from my mistakes, Iโm thinking of making a few more. ๐๐
Abubakar (Guest) on January 24, 2024
Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead. ๐งโโ๏ธ๐
Lucy Kimotho (Guest) on January 24, 2024
I need six months of vacation, twice a year. ๐๏ธ๐
Lydia Mahiga (Guest) on January 24, 2024
Why was the broom late for work? It swept in! ๐งนโฐ
Zainab (Guest) on December 23, 2023
๐ Iโm still cracking up!
Patrick Mutua (Guest) on December 23, 2023
Who needs a superhero when you have a mom? ๐ฆธโโ๏ธโค๏ธ
Hekima (Guest) on December 16, 2023
๐ I had to share this with everyone!
Joseph Njoroge (Guest) on December 7, 2023
Whatโs orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! ๐ฅ๐ฆ
Nicholas Wanjohi (Guest) on December 6, 2023
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! โณ๐
Thomas Mtaki (Guest) on December 1, 2023
Why couldnโt the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired! ๐ฒ๐
John Lissu (Guest) on November 28, 2023
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. ๐๐
Faiza (Guest) on November 25, 2023
Whatโs a pirateโs favorite vegetable? Arrrrtichoke! ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐ฅฌ
Mary Njeri (Guest) on November 22, 2023
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry. ๐ธ๐ญ
Rose Waithera (Guest) on November 13, 2023
You know youโre lazy when you get excited about canceling plans. ๐๏ธ๐
Andrew Odhiambo (Guest) on November 10, 2023
I put my phone in airplane mode, but itโs not flying! โ๏ธ๐ฑ
Mwanaisha (Guest) on November 7, 2023
I'm not lazy; Iโm just highly motivated to do nothing. ๐๏ธ๐
Fredrick Mutiso (Guest) on October 22, 2023
I'm not short. I'm just concentrated awesome! ๐๐
Stephen Malecela (Guest) on October 21, 2023
I was having a bad day until I read this! ๐
Elizabeth Mrema (Guest) on October 21, 2023
Why donโt koalas make great detectives? Theyโre terrible at following koal-ifications! ๐จ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
Andrew Odhiambo (Guest) on October 13, 2023
Why donโt some fish play piano? Because you canโt tuna fish! ๐๐น
Fatuma (Guest) on September 21, 2023
I used to have superpowers, but my therapist took them away. ๐ฆธโโ๏ธ๐
Nashon (Guest) on September 14, 2023
Whatโs a ghostโs favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie! ๐ป๐ฅง
Victor Kimario (Guest) on September 6, 2023
Sarcasm is the bodyโs natural defense against stupidity. ๐๐ก๏ธ
Maneno (Guest) on September 6, 2023
I donโt need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ