Short answer: He got twelve months!
Explanation: Well, you see, when the man stole the calendar from the store, he thought he was just getting a free calendar. Little did he know, calendars have a way of keeping track of time. So, instead of escaping with his loot, he ended up with twelve whole months of his life! Talk about a hilarious twist of fate! ๐คฃ๐
Chris Okello (Guest) on January 17, 2019
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! ๐ฆ๐ฅ
Tabu (Guest) on January 15, 2019
What did the traffic light say to the car? Donโt look, Iโm changing! ๐ฆ๐
Raphael Okoth (Guest) on December 27, 2018
What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen! ๐๐ฅ
Faith Kariuki (Guest) on December 22, 2018
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses! ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐
Husna (Guest) on December 4, 2018
Iโm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. โณ๐
Mwanaidha (Guest) on November 18, 2018
Why canโt you give Elsa a balloon? Because sheโll let it go! ๐โ๏ธ
Issack (Guest) on November 15, 2018
๐คฃ This oneโs fire!
Aziza (Guest) on November 14, 2018
Thereโs no 'we' in fries. ๐๐คจ
Edith Cherotich (Guest) on November 3, 2018
My bank account is like a waterfall. Just constant flow... of money going away. ๐ธ๐๏ธ
Joyce Aoko (Guest) on October 25, 2018
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! ๐๐ค
Elizabeth Mrope (Guest) on October 22, 2018
How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience! ๐ฅ๐ฅ
Mwanaisha (Guest) on October 13, 2018
Thanks Ackyshine
Agnes Njeri (Guest) on October 4, 2018
They say 'donโt try this at home,' so Iโm coming over to your house to try it. ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ก
Salma (Guest) on October 3, 2018
The road to success is always under construction. ๐ง๐๏ธ
Bernard Oduor (Guest) on September 30, 2018
If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. ๐๐ฌ
Mercy Atieno (Guest) on September 22, 2018
Itโs okay if you donโt like me. Not everyone has good taste. ๐๐
Miriam Mchome (Guest) on September 6, 2018
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. โณ๐โโ๏ธ
Agnes Njeri (Guest) on September 4, 2018
To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential. ๐ผ๐คฃ
Mary Kidata (Guest) on September 2, 2018
Monday should be optional. ๐ดโณ
Victor Kimario (Guest) on August 19, 2018
I canโt adult today. Please donโt make me adult. ๐๐ฌ
David Kawawa (Guest) on August 19, 2018
Iโm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud? ๐๐ฌ
Jamila (Guest) on August 14, 2018
Whatโs a frogโs favorite candy? Lollihops! ๐ธ๐ญ
Nuru (Guest) on August 14, 2018
Why are pirates great singers? Because they can hit the high Cs! ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐ถ
Elizabeth Mtei (Guest) on August 11, 2018
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! โ๐ช
Robert Okello (Guest) on August 10, 2018
๐ Iโm definitely stealing this one!
Lucy Kimotho (Guest) on August 2, 2018
If weโre not supposed to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? ๐ง๐
George Ndungu (Guest) on August 2, 2018
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut! ๐ฟ๏ธ๐ฐ
Shabani (Guest) on July 24, 2018
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you! ๐โค๏ธ
John Malisa (Guest) on July 17, 2018
If Monday had a face, Iโd punch it. ๐ฅ๐
Robert Ndunguru (Guest) on July 17, 2018
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper! ๐๐ฆ
Joyce Mussa (Guest) on July 6, 2018
Whatโs the tallest building in the world? The library, because it has the most stories! ๐๐ข
Mwanahawa (Guest) on July 1, 2018
I donโt need to be perfect. I need to be caffeinated. โ๐
Simon Kiprono (Guest) on June 28, 2018
Life is too short to remove USB safely. ๐๐ป
Bahati (Guest) on June 8, 2018
Sorry, I canโt come to the phone right now. Iโm busy being fabulous. ๐๐
Mary Mrope (Guest) on June 3, 2018
Life is too short to wear boring socks. ๐งฆ๐
Nancy Komba (Guest) on May 24, 2018
I run like the winded. ๐โโ๏ธ๐จ
Charles Mrope (Guest) on May 16, 2018
I love sarcasm. Itโs like punching people in the face, but with words. ๐๐ฌ
Fatuma (Guest) on May 10, 2018
Why did the watch break up with the clock? It found someone better for the time being! โฐ๐
Janet Mwikali (Guest) on May 3, 2018
Sarcasm is the bodyโs natural defense against stupidity. ๐๐ก๏ธ
Betty Akinyi (Guest) on April 25, 2018
I run like the winded. ๐โโ๏ธ๐ฎโ๐จ
Mgeni (Guest) on April 21, 2018
Iโd give up sarcasm, but that leaves me speechless. ๐๐ค
Amina (Guest) on April 17, 2018
Sleep is my drug... my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police. ๐๏ธ๐ด
Jafari (Guest) on April 11, 2018
This is pure comedy gold! ๐
Mustafa (Guest) on April 9, 2018
I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge. ๐๐
Mzee (Guest) on April 5, 2018
Just what I needed today! Thank you! ๐
Mary Sokoine (Guest) on April 2, 2018
Iโm not weird; Iโm limited edition. ๐๐ฆ
Mwanakhamis (Guest) on March 15, 2018
I love long walks, especially when theyโre taken by people who annoy me. ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐
Grace Njuguna (Guest) on March 10, 2018
My life feels like a test I didnโt study for. ๐๐คฏ
Mary Mrope (Guest) on March 8, 2018
๐ Iโm sending this to everyone I know!
Catherine Mkumbo (Guest) on February 1, 2018
Haha! I couldn't stop laughing at this one! ๐คฃ
Nahida (Guest) on January 22, 2018
If you canโt handle me at my worst, just wait. It gets worse. ๐๐คฏ
Dorothy Nkya (Guest) on January 11, 2018
Iโve reached the age where my brain goes from 'You probably shouldnโt say that' to 'What the heck, letโs see what happens'. ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คญ
Abubakari (Guest) on January 10, 2018
Calories donโt count if you eat with friends. ๐ฐ๐ฏโโ๏ธ
Jamila (Guest) on December 24, 2017
If lying was a job, I'd be on a Forbes list by now. ๐๐
Monica Adhiambo (Guest) on December 16, 2017
Why did the calendar go to therapy? It had too many dates! ๐ ๐๏ธ
Betty Kimaro (Guest) on December 14, 2017
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money. ๐ต๐ถโโ๏ธ
Grace Njuguna (Guest) on December 10, 2017
๐ Gotta save this!
Mashaka (Guest) on December 4, 2017
I could give up chocolate, but Iโm not a quitter. ๐ซ๐ช
David Ochieng (Guest) on December 3, 2017
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine! ๐๐ท
George Wanjala (Guest) on December 2, 2017
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! ๐๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ