Short answer: He got twelve months!
Explanation: Well, you see, when the man stole the calendar from the store, he thought he was just getting a free calendar. Little did he know, calendars have a way of keeping track of time. So, instead of escaping with his loot, he ended up with twelve whole months of his life! Talk about a hilarious twist of fate! ๐คฃ๐
Lydia Mahiga (Guest) on November 29, 2023
Whoever said money canโt buy happiness didnโt know where to shop. ๐ต๐๏ธ
Rehema (Guest) on November 20, 2023
If you think nobody cares if youโre alive, try missing a couple of car payments. ๐๐ต
Jaffar (Guest) on November 12, 2023
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. ๐๐
Mzee (Guest) on November 10, 2023
I feel like I should clean the house, so Iโm going to lie down and nap until that feeling passes. ๐งน๐
Rehema (Guest) on November 5, 2023
Why canโt you give Elsa a balloon? Because sheโll let it go! ๐โ๏ธ
Nancy Akumu (Guest) on November 4, 2023
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. ๐ด
Furaha (Guest) on October 29, 2023
I think my guardian angel drinks. ๐๐ท
Mariam (Guest) on October 20, 2023
The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary. ๐๐ผ
Nuru (Guest) on October 15, 2023
Why do we press harder on the remote when the batteries are dying? ๐บ๐
Maimuna (Guest) on October 1, 2023
I wish everything was as easy as getting fat. ๐ฉ๐
Kiza (Guest) on September 25, 2023
I donโt trip, I do random gravity checks. ๐๐คฃ
Omari (Guest) on September 24, 2023
๐ Laughing so hard right now!
Frank Macha (Guest) on September 23, 2023
Sarcasm is the bodyโs natural defense against stupidity. ๐๐ก๏ธ
Mwakisu (Guest) on September 20, 2023
Exercise? I thought you said 'extra fries'! ๐๐
Yusra (Guest) on September 17, 2023
This one really got me, what a punchline! ๐
Mwanaisha (Guest) on September 15, 2023
I canโt cook, but I can follow directionsโso if I fail, itโs the recipeโs fault. ๐ณ๐คทโโ๏ธ
Kenneth Murithi (Guest) on September 10, 2023
I thought growing old would take longer. ๐๐ต
Richard Mulwa (Guest) on September 10, 2023
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies? โ๏ธ๐งต
Paul Kamau (Guest) on August 22, 2023
Why donโt oysters share their pearls? Because theyโre shellfish! ๐ฆช๐
Chiku (Guest) on August 16, 2023
Is it just me or is 'running errands' starting to count as going out now? ๐๐
Fatuma (Guest) on August 14, 2023
Whatโs a catโs favorite color? Purr-ple! ๐ฑ๐
Sarah Mbise (Guest) on August 11, 2023
Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed! ๐ผ๏ธ๐จ
Alice Mwikali (Guest) on July 26, 2023
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. ๐ ๐๏ธ
Joyce Aoko (Guest) on July 20, 2023
Whatโs a cowโs favorite place to go? The moo-vies! ๐๐ฅ
Omari (Guest) on July 19, 2023
Iโm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. ๐งฉ๐คฏ
Andrew Odhiambo (Guest) on July 17, 2023
What do you call an owl that does magic? Hooo-dini! ๐ฆ๐ฉ
Jamila (Guest) on July 15, 2023
The older I get, the earlier it gets late. ๐ฐ๏ธ๐ด
George Wanjala (Guest) on July 14, 2023
Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I put my keys in the fridge. ๐๐ง
Dorothy Nkya (Guest) on July 7, 2023
Why donโt you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because theyโre so good at it! ๐๐ณ
Alex Nyamweya (Guest) on July 3, 2023
Iโm not really a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that? ๐๐ง
Lydia Mahiga (Guest) on July 2, 2023
Iโm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it. ๐ฆ๐
Sofia (Guest) on June 21, 2023
What did one wall say to the other? Meet you at the corner! ๐งฑ๐
Daudi (Guest) on June 21, 2023
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep. ๐ก๐
Agnes Lowassa (Guest) on June 16, 2023
You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you do for fun. ๐ฎ๐ค
Fatuma (Guest) on June 8, 2023
I have too many apps on my phone, but thereโs no app to keep track of them. ๐ฑ๐
Robert Ndunguru (Guest) on May 25, 2023
Iโm still laughing, that was too good! ๐คฃ
James Kawawa (Guest) on May 12, 2023
In my defense, I was left unsupervised. ๐โโ๏ธ๐
Rose Lowassa (Guest) on May 9, 2023
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about eating, Iโd be rich... and probably still hungry. ๐๐ต
Paul Kamau (Guest) on April 26, 2023
Absolutely nailed it, what a joke! ๐
Mwafirika (Guest) on April 24, 2023
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers! ๐ฅท๐
Ruth Wanjiku (Guest) on April 23, 2023
I'm not lazy; Iโm just highly motivated to do nothing. ๐๏ธ๐
Binti (Guest) on April 21, 2023
Iโve learned so much from my mistakes, Iโm thinking of making a few more. ๐๐
George Wanjala (Guest) on April 16, 2023
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. ๐ท๐
Majid (Guest) on April 11, 2023
Iโve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me. ๐๐ค
Fredrick Mutiso (Guest) on April 1, 2023
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside, too. ๐๐
Patrick Akech (Guest) on March 20, 2023
Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. ๐งโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ
Fredrick Mutiso (Guest) on March 17, 2023
I cleaned my house yesterday, which is odd because we still live in it today. ๐ก๐งผ
Binti (Guest) on March 15, 2023
Iโm on a roll today. I ate 12 rolls. ๐๐
Elijah Mutua (Guest) on March 14, 2023
Coffee: because adulting is hard. โ๐จโ๐ผ
Jacob Kiplangat (Guest) on March 12, 2023
My hobbies include eating and complaining that Iโm gaining weight. ๐๐
Shabani (Guest) on March 8, 2023
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a nap. ๐๐ด
Jackson Makori (Guest) on March 7, 2023
Why donโt skeletons fight each other? They donโt have the guts! ๐ฆด๐
Sumaya (Guest) on March 6, 2023
What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? Put it on my bill! ๐ฆ๐
Nancy Kawawa (Guest) on February 26, 2023
What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain! ๐ฑโฐ๏ธ
Sharifa (Guest) on February 22, 2023
What do you call a can opener that doesnโt work? A canโt opener! ๐ฅซ๐ซ
Samson Mahiga (Guest) on February 17, 2023
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, itโs a beautiful day. โ๏ธ๐
Raha (Guest) on February 14, 2023
Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because theyโre always stuffed! ๐งธ๐ฝ๏ธ
Michael Mboya (Guest) on February 13, 2023
How do bees get to school? By school buzz! ๐๐
Lucy Mushi (Guest) on February 10, 2023
Why couldnโt the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired! ๐ฒ๐
Betty Cheruiyot (Guest) on February 10, 2023
๐ Iโm dying over here!