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Kizungu nacho ni sheeeedeer

Mtalii: Do you have vegetables here.Mtafsiri: Mnavyo vijimeza hapa.Waiter: Vijimeza vidogo hatuna.Mtafsiri: No sir, they don't have.Mtalii: OK, fine, do you have hot dogs.Mtafsiri: Sawa, je mnao mbwa wa moto.Waiter: Loh! Bwana we, hatupiki mbwa hapa.Mtafsiri: …

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Mchaga mmoja kamtoa mke wake out mambo yakawa hivi

*Mchaga mmoja kamtoa mke wake out.**mchaga* : _chips yai bei gani?_*mhudumu*: _elfu 2_*mchaga* : _zina kachumbari?_*mhudumu*: _ndio!_*mchaga*: _kachumbari mnauzaje?_*mhudumu*: _kachumbari ni bure._*mchaga*: _ok basi naomba kachumbari sahani mbili, chips ziache…

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Huyu mlinzi bwana

High school Flashback!!.Watchman : Amkeni muende morning preps.Allan : Mimi ni mgonjwa.Watchman : Unaumwa na nini hiyo?Allan : Bionomial Nomenclature.Watchman : Eeh, lala tu kijana. Hiyo kitu nimbaya. Imeuwa watu South Africa.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚#_Sipendagii ujinga kabi…

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Angalia huyu mgonjwa

Mngojwa: daktari Nina tatizo la kusahausahau kila dakika.Daktari: hilo tatizo lilianza lini?Mngojwa:tatizo lipi?πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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Angalia nilichomfanyia huyu mwizi

Et jana usiku mwiz kavunja mlango kwanguakaanza kutafuta kitu kila kona ikabidna mie niamke namuuliza unatafuta nini ananijibu hela ndipo nilipoanza na mie kutafuta naemaana hta hela ya kula Jana sikuanayo alichoka zaid nilipomuliza una uhakika uliweka humu?*s…

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Cheki huyu jamaa alivyoumbuka kwenye harusi

Jamaa mmoja alialikwa ktk harusi. Akafika mlango Wa 1 umeandikwa kulia ni ndugu Wa maharusi, kushoto ni wageni waalikwa, akaenda kushoto maana yy alialikwa. Akakuta mlango wa2 umeandikwa kulia wenye zawadi kushoto wasionazawadi yy hakuwa na zawadi. Mlango Wa 3…

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Nilichokifanya leo

Leo nmemlipa konda nauli, akasahau kunishusha kituoni. Na mimi nkakaa KIMYAAA kumkomoa…..*nataka ujinga kwan mimiπŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†*Sahv narudi zangu kwa mguu😩

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Ujinga wa ndoto ndio huu

πŸ‘‰Ujinga wa ndoto ndiyo huuβ€’β€’Utaota umeokota dolla ukiamka empty…‒‒Utaota umeokota dhahabu ukiamka kitandani patupu daadeeki OTA Sasa UMEKOJOA…..πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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Upendo wa kweli ni nini?

*Upendo wa kweli ni nini?**πŸ‘‰Upendo wa kweli ni pale mwanaume anapomfumania mwanamke wake na kisha kumwambia baby vaa nguo twende nyumbani**Kifo ni nini?**πŸ‘‰Kifo ni pale mwanamke anapokubali kwenda nyumbani na mwanaume yule.*πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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Angalia huyu ticha wa Hesabu alichofanyiwa

Looku Looku* πŸ‘€πŸ‘€*Ama Kweli Mkuki Kwa Nguruwe kwa Binadamu Mchungu Skia Hii….!!**Ishawahi kutokea Pale nilipokutana njiani na mwalimu aliyekufundisha MATHS secondary afu akaniambia nimuelekeze njia ya kwenda sehemu fulani.**_Nenda mbele kama 2KM hivi kisha kata …

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Huyu ndo mwanamke

Akikuta PESA wakati anafua atapiga kimya kimya, sasa ngoja akute umeacha CONDOM ndo utajua kama umeoa KIPAZA SAUTI πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†Ndio maana mimi nafungaga condom na hela kwa pamoja… akivikuta anachukua hela na kuishia kusonya tu.. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚Huwa sipendagi ujinga MimiπŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘β€¦

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Mzee wa kichaga na hela zake. Angalia anachofanya

Mzee moja alikuwa kila usiku anapita mbele ya bank anasimama,kisha anapiga honi,akitoka askari mlinzi,anaondoka.Hilo jambo likamkera sana askari mlinzi, askari akawa na mvizia yule mzee wa kichaga ,siku alipokuja tena akamkamata, akamuuliza kwa nini unakuja un…

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Hizi swaga za huyu jamaa ni shida, Google!

Jamaa alikuwa kwenye daladala pembeni kunadada mrembo kakaa. Kamlia timing kwa mudakisha halafu akamuuliza "Samahani dadaunaitwa Google?".Dada: "hapana, kwanini umedhani naitwahivyo?". Jamaa: "Una kila kitu nnachokitafuta"πŸ˜…πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

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Angalia kilichompata huyu mwanafunzi kilaza anayejiamini

Teacher: Who is a pharmacist?Shemdoe raised up his hand.Teacher: So it’s only Shemdoe that can tell who a pharmacist is in this class? So there is no body else to answer the question except Shemdoe? (There was no reply from the students)Teacher: Ok now Shemdoe…

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Huyu mwanafunzi kweli kiboko

Ticha: Wa kwanza kujibu swali langu ataenda Home mapema..John kusikia hivyo....Karusha begi la daftari nje.....` `Ticha akauliza: Nani karusha begi nje!?!`* `John: Mimi..... Kwa herii Mwalimu......` πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚,πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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